More Science High

"Give them a light, and they'll follow it anywhere" ... Eukipha Heap, our founder

This is a Website that takes a "Chuck Doswell" look at certain things, as the mood and time permit. Updates will NOT be on a regular basis. Any resemblance to real persons or events is purely satirical.

Last update: 23 August 1997

It is our privilege, as members of NOAA, to receive our own personal copies of the NOAA Report, an "inhouse" newsletter (that can't be made to work in the "outhouse" because it's printed on slick paper!). This document recently has joined the rest of the information age by becoming accessible on the Web. One of the joys of receiving this is the opportunity for me to put my own "spin" (cyclonic, of course!) on the stories it contains. I will be adding to these, so stay tuned ... I begin with the August 1997 issue:

NOAA Scientists Carry Their Load

My first story concerns the exploration of an icy mountain wilderness by a team of NOAA scientists. The scientists are shown here, heavily burdened with the gear for their studies. The native laborers employed to assist the scientists are also shown attending to the scientists. These particular NOAA scientists are famous among their peers for their stubborn efforts to wring scientific value from their resources, and are more than willing to carry their share of the burden for science.

Joe Friday Found in Dragnet

The second story is nicely illustrated here, showing among others, NOAA Administrator Dr. James Baker and National Weather Service Director Dr. Elbert W. "Joe" Friday, just before the immensely popular Dr. Friday was to walk the plank into the waters of Boulder Reservoir (specially stocked with piranhas and sharks for the occasion), from a lake barge. The barge was named (coincidentally) for Ron Brown, a reknowned NOAA scientist from ERL in Boulder, who drowned in the lake two years ago (no relation to the late Commerce Secretary, Ron Brown) during a scientific experiment. Dr. Baker had ordered the departure of Dr. Friday as a cost-saving measure. Note that Dr. Friday is a respectful two meters behind and to the left of Dr. Baker, showing his acquiescence to this plan. Dr. Friday vanished into the murky waters shortly after this photograph was taken, right on schedule. His body was found later by divers using a net dragged along the bottom of the lake.

Rude in New York

Finally, as the headline for this story suggests, the captain of the NOAA ship "Rude" is shown forcing little children to swab the decks of the ship with toothbrushes prior to their being given their customary guided tours. Captain Bligh, renowned within NOAA for his severe discipline, is pointing out where the diminutive laborers have missed a spot on the deck, while their parents look on. "Make the little beggars work for their tour!" was his response when questioned about the reason for this request. Upon leaving New York, the U.S.S. Rude is scheduled to do an oceanographic study of the South Pacific, near Tahiti. The crew is looking forward to the trip, we are told.