If you're offended and think that this page needs a disclaimer, you need to take a chill pill! If you want to talk about any of this, or submit items for inclusion, contact me: cdoswell@earthlink.net
Some time ago, I posted a page that discussed: "What is a tornado?" In that discussion, I offered the following:
Having mentioned waterspouts, this raises another topic. There is a special name for a tornado moving over the water: a waterspout. Why do we not have special names for tornadoes moving over sand (sandspout?), or asphalt (tarmacnado?), or mobile homes (manufacturnado?), or eucalyptus trees (gumswirl?)? Is it a waterspout if the water is fresh water rather than sea water? Does it become a waterspout if it moves over a lake? What about a pond? How about encountering a swimming pool or perhaps a puddle? How big does a body of water have to be to create a waterspout from a tornado? What about when crossing a river? A creek? A dry streambed? Would this last example be a "dry waterspout"? I am engaging deliberately in reductio ad adsurdum here because I do not believe there is any scientific distinction of consequence between a waterspout and a tornado!
A tornado over water is given the name waterspout. Since there was at least some sentiment for believing that waterspouts were in some important way distinguishable from tornadoes, this name caught on. As you can tell from the preceding quotation, I don't believe there is any meaningful difference. Anyway, it rags me that a tornado's name would depend on the underlying surface, so part of the point of this is to come up with silly names, mostly based on what the tornado is currently encountering.
A few of us got involved in discussion of some photographs we had seen of a tornado in North Dakota, with a frozen pond in the foreground. Someone mentioned if it passed over that pond, it briefly became an icespout (a frozen waterspout?). Some demented individuals got a bit carried away with the "logic" in giving tornadoes different names, depending on what they were currently encountering at the surface and had some fun (especially me) with this during an e-mail exchange. I offer the following table of silly -nado and -spout names:
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s**tspout |
tornado in a feedlot |
Neal Rasmussen |
manurespout, fecalspout |
tornado in a feedlot (p.c. version) |
Jim Johnson |
crapnado |
tornado in a feedlot (alternative p.c. version) |
Chuck Doswell |
gelderspout |
tornado in a money-making feedlot in Holland |
Jim Johnson |
bucknado |
tornado in a money-making feedlot in U.S. - or, tornado hitting a male deer |
Chuck Doswell |
marknado |
tornado in a money-making feedlot in Germany |
Chuck Doswell |
francnado |
tornado in a money-making feedlot in France |
Chuck Doswell |
euronado |
tornado in a money-making feedlot in EU |
Chuck Doswell |
rublespout |
tornado in a money-making feedlot in Russia |
Chuck Doswell |
cornspout |
tornado in a corn field |
Jim Johnson |
milospout |
tornado in a milo field |
Jim Johnson |
wheatspout |
tornado in a wheat field |
Jim Johnson |
cornado |
tornado in a corn field (alternative) |
Chuck Doswell |
dustnado |
tornado in a dusty area |
Chuck Doswell |
cheesenado |
tornado hitting Monroe, WI |
Chuck Doswell |
beanspout |
tornado in a bean field |
Jim Johnson |
teaspout |
tornado in a tea field |
Chuck Doswell |
treespout |
tornado in a forest |
Chuck Doswell |
whorenado |
tornado hitting a brothel |
Chuck Doswell |
alfalfaspout |
tornado in an alfalfa field |
Chuck Doswell |
downspout |
tornado hitting a flock of geese or ducks |
Chuck Doswell |
ternado |
tornado hitting a flock of terns |
Chuck Doswell |
boarnado |
tornado hitting a group of uncastrated adult male pigs |
Chuck Doswell |
doornado |
tornado hitting the entry point of your house |
Chuck Doswell |
floornado |
tornado after entering your home |
Chuck Doswell |
nadnado |
tornado that takes your reproductive organs |
Chuck Doswell |
borenado |
tornado hitting a typical TV commentator |
Chuck Doswell |
bustnado |
what you see on a busted storm chase |
Chuck Doswell |
Brusselspout |
tornado hitting the capital of Belgium |
Matt Biddle and Dave Carlsen |
nadanado (zipnado, nilnado, zilchnado, etc.) |
what you see on a busted storm chase (alternative) |
Jim Johnson, R. Scott FitzGerald, and Chuck Doswell |
RipTornado |
tornado hitting a certain actor |
R. Scott FitzGerald |
Walterspout |
tornado hitting a chaser named ... you guessed it |
R. Scott FitzGerald |
rubblespout |
tornado passing over an earlier tornado's path |
Chuck Doswell |
turnado |
tornado hitting a curve in the road |
Chuck Doswell |
tarnado |
tornado hitting a freshly oiled road |
Chuck Doswell |
firnado |
tornado in a pine forest |
Chuck Doswell |
pastanado |
tornado hitting a spaghetti factory |
Rich Grumm |
pastornado |
tornado hitting a Protestant church during the sermon |
Rich Grumm |
sproutspout |
tornado hitting a health food store (or field of newly-germinated anything) |
Chuck Doswell |
hallucinado |
tornado touching down only in your mind |
numerous |
helinado |
tornado hitting an Army airfield |
Rich Grumm |
Walnado |
tornado hitting a Wal-Mart |
Rich Grumm |
Macnado |
tornado hitting a MacDonald's |
Chuck Doswell |
storenado |
tornado cutting a swath through a business district |
Chuck Doswell |
rectornao |
tornado hitting an Anglican church during the sermon |
Chuck Doswell |
rustnado |
tornado hitting Gary, IN |
Kenny Blumenfeld |
disgustnado |
tornado passing over a landfill |
Kenny Blumenfeld |
blandspout |
tornado hitting hospital cafeteria (or any "family" restaurant) |
Kenny Blumenfeld |
stoutspout |
tornado hitting Irish pub |
David Sills |
Nadernado |
tornado hitting a Green Party convention |
David Sills |
hosernado |
tornado hitting Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game, eh? |
David Sills |
glandspout |
tornado that removes your thyroid or pituitary or adrenal ... |
Chuck Doswell |
flanspout |
tornado passing over a fancy desert factory |
Chuck Doswell |
bustnado (alternate) |
tornado hitting a bra factory |
Chuck Doswell |
Corpsnado |
tornado hitting Marine base (or Texas A&M) |
Matt Biddle |
gyronado |
tornado hitting Greek restaurant |
Matt Biddle |
Moorenado |
tornado hitting Moore, OK (a remarkably common thing, of late) |
Matt Biddle |
orenado |
tornado over a mine |
Matt Biddle |
shorenado |
waterspout making landfall |
Matt Biddle |
ToraToraToranado |
tornado hitting Pearl Harbor |
Matt Biddle |
tortenado |
tornado hitting French bakery |
Matt Biddle |
tournado |
tornado hitting all over the country |
Matt Biddle |
Torynado |
tornado hitting conservative part of Parliament |
Matt Biddle |
Labournado |
tornado hitting liberal part of Parliament |
Chuck Doswell |
pornado |
tornado hitting XXX adult bookstore |
Matt Biddle |
Toronado |
tornado hitting lawn mower factory |
Matt Biddle |
forenado |
tornado hitting a driving range |
Chuck Doswell |
elandspout |
tornado hitting a certain type of African ungulate |
Chuck Doswell |
Moorenado (alternate) |
tornado hitting a certain legendary storm chaser (has almost actually happened!) |
Chuck Doswell |
Englandspout, Greenlandspout,Deutschlandspout, Finlandspout, etc. |
tornadoes hitting the various "lands" |
Chuck Doswell |
spousespout |
tornado carrying away your wife-husband-significant other |
Nikolai Dotzek |
tortnado |
tornado hitting lawyer's office |
Chuck Doswell |
dustnado |
tornado hitting a dusty field |
Chuck Doswell |
mustnado |
a mandatory tornado |
Chuck Doswell |
corenado |
tornado hitting a pile of apples that have been eaten |
Chuck Doswell |
Gorenado |
tornado hitting a certain past candidate for President |
Chuck Doswell |
morenado |
a bigger, badder tornado |
Chuck Doswell |
roarnado |
a particularly loud tornado |
Chuck Doswell |
yawnado |
a boring tornado (a contradiction in terms!) |
Chuck Doswell |
lawnado |
tornado hitting manicured grass |
Chuck Doswell |
brandspout |
a commercial tornado |
Chuck Doswell |
bandspout |
tornado hitting a group of musicians |
Chuck Doswell |
handspout |
tornado that removes your hand |
Chuck Doswell |
Randyspout |
tornado hitting somone named ... |
Chuck Doswell |
Wandaspout |
tornado hitting a fish named ... |
Chuck Doswell |
Yolandaspout |
tornado hitting someone named ... |
Chuck Doswell |
pandaspout |
tornado hitting a certain bear species |
Chuck Doswell |
udderspout |
tornado removing a cow's means of dispensing milk |
Chuck Doswell |
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I'll consider suggestions for additional names, but I reserve the right to make additions herein at my personal discretion. If you don't like my decisions, make up your own page! And all these names should be considered copyrighted by their originators!