A page of silly names for tornadoes

by

Chuck Doswell


Posted: 23 April 2003 Updated: 13 August 2004

If you're offended and think that this page needs a disclaimer, you need to take a chill pill! If you want to talk about any of this, or submit items for inclusion, contact me: cdoswell@earthlink.net


Some time ago, I posted a page that discussed: "What is a tornado?" In that discussion, I offered the following:

Having mentioned waterspouts, this raises another topic. There is a special name for a tornado moving over the water: a waterspout. Why do we not have special names for tornadoes moving over sand (sandspout?), or asphalt (tarmacnado?), or mobile homes (manufacturnado?), or eucalyptus trees (gumswirl?)? Is it a waterspout if the water is fresh water rather than sea water? Does it become a waterspout if it moves over a lake? What about a pond? How about encountering a swimming pool or perhaps a puddle? How big does a body of water have to be to create a waterspout from a tornado? What about when crossing a river? A creek? A dry streambed? Would this last example be a "dry waterspout"? I am engaging deliberately in reductio ad adsurdum here because I do not believe there is any scientific distinction of consequence between a waterspout and a tornado!

A tornado over water is given the name waterspout. Since there was at least some sentiment for believing that waterspouts were in some important way distinguishable from tornadoes, this name caught on. As you can tell from the preceding quotation, I don't believe there is any meaningful difference. Anyway, it rags me that a tornado's name would depend on the underlying surface, so part of the point of this is to come up with silly names, mostly based on what the tornado is currently encountering.

A few of us got involved in discussion of some photographs we had seen of a tornado in North Dakota, with a frozen pond in the foreground. Someone mentioned if it passed over that pond, it briefly became an icespout (a frozen waterspout?). Some demented individuals got a bit carried away with the "logic" in giving tornadoes different names, depending on what they were currently encountering at the surface and had some fun (especially me) with this during an e-mail exchange. I offer the following table of silly -nado and -spout names:

name

description

originator

s**tspout

tornado in a feedlot

Neal Rasmussen

manurespout, fecalspout

tornado in a feedlot (p.c. version)

Jim Johnson

crapnado

tornado in a feedlot (alternative p.c. version)

Chuck Doswell

gelderspout

tornado in a money-making feedlot in Holland

Jim Johnson

bucknado

tornado in a money-making feedlot in U.S. - or, tornado hitting a male deer

Chuck Doswell

marknado

tornado in a money-making feedlot in Germany

Chuck Doswell

francnado

tornado in a money-making feedlot in France

Chuck Doswell

euronado

tornado in a money-making feedlot in EU

Chuck Doswell

rublespout

tornado in a money-making feedlot in Russia

Chuck Doswell

cornspout

tornado in a corn field

Jim Johnson

milospout

tornado in a milo field

Jim Johnson

wheatspout

tornado in a wheat field

Jim Johnson

cornado

tornado in a corn field (alternative)

Chuck Doswell

dustnado

tornado in a dusty area

Chuck Doswell

cheesenado

tornado hitting Monroe, WI

Chuck Doswell

beanspout

tornado in a bean field

Jim Johnson

teaspout

tornado in a tea field

Chuck Doswell

treespout

tornado in a forest

Chuck Doswell

whorenado

tornado hitting a brothel

Chuck Doswell

alfalfaspout

tornado in an alfalfa field

Chuck Doswell

downspout

tornado hitting a flock of geese or ducks

Chuck Doswell

ternado

tornado hitting a flock of terns

Chuck Doswell

boarnado

tornado hitting a group of uncastrated adult male pigs

Chuck Doswell

doornado

tornado hitting the entry point of your house

Chuck Doswell

floornado

tornado after entering your home

Chuck Doswell

nadnado

tornado that takes your reproductive organs

Chuck Doswell

borenado

tornado hitting a typical TV commentator

Chuck Doswell

bustnado

what you see on a busted storm chase

Chuck Doswell

Brusselspout

tornado hitting the capital of Belgium

Matt Biddle and Dave Carlsen

nadanado (zipnado, nilnado, zilchnado, etc.)

what you see on a busted storm chase (alternative)

Jim Johnson, R. Scott FitzGerald, and Chuck Doswell

RipTornado

tornado hitting a certain actor

R. Scott FitzGerald

Walterspout

tornado hitting a chaser named ... you guessed it

R. Scott FitzGerald

rubblespout

tornado passing over an earlier tornado's path

Chuck Doswell

turnado

tornado hitting a curve in the road

Chuck Doswell

tarnado

tornado hitting a freshly oiled road

Chuck Doswell

firnado

tornado in a pine forest

Chuck Doswell

pastanado

tornado hitting a spaghetti factory

Rich Grumm

pastornado

tornado hitting a Protestant church during the sermon

Rich Grumm

sproutspout

tornado hitting a health food store (or field of newly-germinated anything)

Chuck Doswell

hallucinado

tornado touching down only in your mind

numerous

helinado

tornado hitting an Army airfield

Rich Grumm

Walnado

tornado hitting a Wal-Mart

Rich Grumm

Macnado

tornado hitting a MacDonald's

Chuck Doswell

storenado

tornado cutting a swath through a business district

Chuck Doswell

rectornao

tornado hitting an Anglican church during the sermon

Chuck Doswell

rustnado

tornado hitting Gary, IN

Kenny Blumenfeld

disgustnado

tornado passing over a landfill

Kenny Blumenfeld

blandspout

tornado hitting hospital cafeteria (or any "family" restaurant)

Kenny Blumenfeld

stoutspout

tornado hitting Irish pub

David Sills

Nadernado

tornado hitting a Green Party convention

David Sills

hosernado

tornado hitting Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game, eh?

David Sills

glandspout

tornado that removes your thyroid or pituitary or adrenal ...

Chuck Doswell

flanspout

tornado passing over a fancy desert factory

Chuck Doswell

bustnado (alternate)

tornado hitting a bra factory

Chuck Doswell

Corpsnado

tornado hitting Marine base (or Texas A&M)

Matt Biddle

gyronado

tornado hitting Greek restaurant

Matt Biddle

Moorenado

tornado hitting Moore, OK (a remarkably common thing, of late)

Matt Biddle

orenado

tornado over a mine

Matt Biddle

shorenado

waterspout making landfall

Matt Biddle

ToraToraToranado

tornado hitting Pearl Harbor

Matt Biddle

tortenado

tornado hitting French bakery

Matt Biddle

tournado

tornado hitting all over the country

Matt Biddle

Torynado

tornado hitting conservative part of Parliament

Matt Biddle

Labournado

tornado hitting liberal part of Parliament

Chuck Doswell

pornado

tornado hitting XXX adult bookstore

Matt Biddle

Toronado

tornado hitting lawn mower factory

Matt Biddle

forenado

tornado hitting a driving range

Chuck Doswell

elandspout

tornado hitting a certain type of African ungulate

Chuck Doswell

Moorenado (alternate)

tornado hitting a certain legendary storm chaser (has almost actually happened!)

Chuck Doswell

Englandspout, Greenlandspout,Deutschlandspout, Finlandspout, etc.

tornadoes hitting the various "lands"

Chuck Doswell

spousespout

tornado carrying away your wife-husband-significant other

Nikolai Dotzek

tortnado

tornado hitting lawyer's office

Chuck Doswell

dustnado

tornado hitting a dusty field

Chuck Doswell

mustnado

a mandatory tornado

Chuck Doswell

corenado

tornado hitting a pile of apples that have been eaten

Chuck Doswell

Gorenado

tornado hitting a certain past candidate for President

Chuck Doswell

morenado

a bigger, badder tornado

Chuck Doswell

roarnado

a particularly loud tornado

Chuck Doswell

yawnado

a boring tornado (a contradiction in terms!)

Chuck Doswell

lawnado

tornado hitting manicured grass

Chuck Doswell

brandspout

a commercial tornado

Chuck Doswell

bandspout

tornado hitting a group of musicians

Chuck Doswell

handspout

tornado that removes your hand

Chuck Doswell

Randyspout

tornado hitting somone named ...

Chuck Doswell

Wandaspout

tornado hitting a fish named ...

Chuck Doswell

Yolandaspout

tornado hitting someone named ...

Chuck Doswell

pandaspout

tornado hitting a certain bear species

Chuck Doswell

udderspout

tornado removing a cow's means of dispensing milk

Chuck Doswell

I'll consider suggestions for additional names, but I reserve the right to make additions herein at my personal discretion. If you don't like my decisions, make up your own page! And all these names should be considered copyrighted by their originators!