Posted 13 August 2004. A few years ago, I was sent these new Travel Regulations by someone in GSA. They represent a significant departure from the old travel regs so it was decided they should be posted for all employees.
Due to the budget constraints, the following policies are announced regarding employees traveling on official business. These policies are effective immediately:
All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations and office building lobbies may also provide shelter in periods of inclement weather. Low-bid vendor tents will be issued to participants in fieldwork, and employees will be expected to provide their own bedding materials.
Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transportation. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on such travel. Airline tickets will only be authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled for Seattle, but lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, only the cost of the travel to Detroit will be reimbursed to the traveler.
See the previous policy regarding lodging. Employees should obtain most of their meals from relatives and friends. Allowable expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum. It should be noted that certain grocery and specialty chains, such as Hickory Farms, General Nutrition Centers, and Price Club stores often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can be obtained in this manner. Travelers should become familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and other protein sources available at their destination. If restaurants must be utilized, travelers should use "all you can eat salad bars". This is especially effective for employees traveling together as one plate can be used to feed rhe entire group. Employees are also encouraged to bring their own food on official travel. Cans of tuna fish, spam and beefaroni can be consumed at your leisure without unnecessary bother of heating or costly preparation. Expenses for the cost of such consumables will not be considered reimbursable.
All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in our effort to save budget dollars. One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods which could be used to defray expenses. In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping other travelers with their luggage. Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits. Further savings will be sought in reviewing travel vouchers; virtually all travel reimbursements can simply be disallowed at the outset, without expensive review procedures.